Dear Maizy
I had a close call yesterday whilst shopping for biscuits and tea at M&S. Had been feeling poorly for the past week or so, and decided to perk things up a little by doing away with the usual digestives / darjeeling diet. As I was walking towards the cashier, I saw, to my astonishment, a sticker proclaiming the body temperature of a visitor to Alexandra Hospital affixed to a pair of jeans hanging on the racks. I am afraid that no one is safe from terrorism, not even the very mild-mannered crowd at M&S. Amidst growing concern regarding the spread of the swine flu epidermic, this act comes accross as a serious threat to public safety. There may very well be a new army of extremists living on infected farms just to raise their body temperatures, before they are sent by their ruthless leaders to shop at popular stores all over town.
We are doomed, for surely we cannot expect M&S to deliver tea to our doorsteps. This time I am afraid the terrorists have finally succeeded in creating a credible and effective warning to strike fear into our hearts.
Yours till the bitter end
Andy
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